Saturday, December 30, 2006

An Open Letter to ESPN

Dear ESPN,

I want you to know how much you mean to me, and the effect you have had on my life. Every morning regardless of day I know that I will be able to see any score I want from the prior day within an hour or waking up. As somebody with an 8 month old who needs toothpicks in his eyes to stay awake past 10:30, I assure you that morning Sportscenter is vital.

You've broadcast virtually every game on ESPN and ESPN 2 in High Definition this college football season, which is ranks just below Internet porn and sex as things most important in my life.

That said, I have a few bones to pick with you as 2006 is coming to an end. We still have a wonderful relationship, but I think we can improve on it.

Please, I beg of you, enough with the celebrities in the broadcast booth. George Foreman was in the booth today during the BC-Navy game, and to be completely honest, I have no idea why. Even when there are some reasons for it, it still stinks. I don't need Jimmy Kimmel freaking out during a Chicago Bears game. And if I do, I want him to tell me that its because he has 5 grand on the Bears -10.5 and they're up 7, lining up for a field goal. Promoting "We Are Marshall" should NEVER be a part of Monday Night Football.

Next, I realize its tough being the world wide leader and not having a piece of the BCS, but stop promoting the Rose Bowl as if it means anything this year. Its two "first loser" teams playing each other. Is it a great game? Sure. Both Michigan and USC are very good teams. But its meaningless. Completely meaningless. You could have promoted it this way if there was no BCS championship, because this year is a year that could have a split champion (in theory). But its not, so please. Stop acting like the Rose Bowl is anything more than a good game between two good teams. Its annoying. It won't be worth promoting like this until its the national championship game, which to be honest with you, I think will never happen again.

Moving on, please change the format of Monday Night Football. Throw a TON OF MONEY at a good color guy. Get ride of Theisman, get rid of Kornheiser, and just go back to football. Tirico is tolerable but can he just call a game and not say anything else? Please?

Lastly, and this is sincere, please stop yelling. I don't mean during a game...because a big play is ok for an announcer to yell about. But please ask your studio talent that there's no reason to scream. Michael Irvin, Sean Salisbury, Tom Jackson, Stuart Scott, and Stephen A. Smith don't need to yell. Maybe they could grease a sound guy and get them to turn their microphones up, that's ok in my book. But why yell. Constantly. Non-stop. About anything that they're talking about. Its really not necessary.

I hope you were able to find some of my requests helpful. You and I have a wonderful relationship that I feel very strongly about. But there is always room for improvement. Here's to us in '07.

Your friend,



Alex F. said...

Foreman also tossed the coin at the game. I'm guessing it's because he's a spokesman for Meineke

Anonymous said...

U need an editor. Re read your grammer.

Anonymous said...

U need an editor. Re read your grammer.