Wednesday, May 09, 2007

An Open Letter to Professional Golfers

Dear Professional Golfers (a.k.a. guys I'd give anything to be),

I realize you are really nothing more than other pampered professional athletes, but sometimes I seem to forget that. Thank you for reminding me that when the Boston Globe prints articles like this one today.

I realize you guys think you're something else, and there's no doubt that you're all very gifted, but by my count, the vast majority of American's aren't born to families who can afford expensive golf memberships to clubs that many of you essentially grew up in. So while you're clearly gifted, you also have had a TON more ability to, well, not have to work a single day in your life thereby allowing you to practice golf your entire childhood and making you nasty at it.

But what you fail to realize is that being nasty at golf doesn't entitle you to playing the game by different rules.

You already have the luxury of having your fairways lined by "man-made hazards" which allow you to basically hit a ball anywhere and not ever worry about losing it. Furthermore you can even take an free drop where ever you like.

But this quote goes over the line for me:

"I know it's exciting and adds a lot to the tournament," said Jack Nicklaus, "but maybe almost a little bit too much, at times, because it really becomes such a big factor -- where a guy has played great all week and all of a sudden he can go from first into about 10th."

Don't think Jack Nicklaus is alone in this thinking...there are a ton of quotes in there from golfers about this.

Newsflash: THAT IS GOLF. Welcome to the world of a 18 handicap! I was 3 over after 6 holes last week and wound up getting an 8 on a par 3. Why you ask? Because that's what happens.

So stop crying about it, stop complaining, and just once triple 17 this weekend and think to yourself:

"Wow, this is what its like to be an everyday working man, weekend warrior golfer."

Yours truly,

That Guy

Friday, May 04, 2007

That Guy Sports Take on Cycling

After an intense discussion with some haters at lunch yesterday, thatguysports today is exposing the biggest athletic frauds in the entire world. Cyclers. Or as I prefer to say, "Bi-cyclists." a.k.a. "anabolic bodybuilding on a bike."

These guys are the biggest frauds in the world. They ride a friggin bike for Christ's sake. 3 year olds ride bikes. Half the time they're riding downhill.

But they'll tell you the bikes they ride are somehow different from other bikes, and that they have, stop me if you've heard this one, "Higher Lung Capacity" than other athletes. In reality - they're just on steroids.

With that, here's my list of guys that would win the Tour de France blindfolded, but they play real, other sports.

Football players:

Antwan Randel El
I just think he'd be a good cyclist. He's obviously quick, has speed, and isn't going to be hampered by his size. Randel El, easily win the tour de bike race.

Wes Welker
He'd be my favorite to do so actually. He'd destroy Lance and Floyd.

Ladanian Tomlinson
There is legitimately nothing he couldn't do.

Reggie Bush
See Tomlinson.

Majore League Baseball Players

Jose Reyes
He'd be nasty on a bike. He could possibly outrun a bike.

Honestly, any lead off hitter with speed could easily win the tour de bike race.

Pick one. Any of them.


Ovechkin, Crosby, Patrice Bergeron.

All could do it easily.


Floyd Mayweather could gamble, talk trash, and call his uncle while winning a bike race like the tour de france.


Baron Davis, Chris Paul. Easily.

The thing that makes cycling the worst, is that you couldn't put any cyclist in another sport and have them do well in it. They ride bikes!

Anyway, I'd love some more athletes that could easily win the tour de huffy race in France. Post away.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Baseball Update: April month in review


I'm really much more of a football guy. Even though my buddy shoota refers to me as "Mister Baseball" at times, its really more of a joke than anything else. So take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. As mh says, its much more of a "Coco sucks" mentality here.

With that, let's take a break from wishing the summer away so the Patriots can go 16-0 and walk through the playoffs, and lets get into some great moments from the month of April.

Best thing to watch as a Red Sox fan:

The Yankees starting rotation dropping like flies - Now every Yankee fan knows what it was like to be a Red Sox fan last year. When you start trotting guys out like Kyle Snyder and Kason Gabbard to start games, you just don't care anymore. That's what Yankee fans are saying now about these guys that they trot out night after night.

And the Phillip Hughes injury last night just HAD to hit a nerve for the bombers, no?

Worst thing to watch as a Red Sox fan:

JD Drew wearing Trot Nixon's jersey number. Because it is REALLY starting to look like we've seen this movie before. scal may have hit the nail on the head with this one.

Story that nobody cares about:
Barry Bonds chasing Hank Aaron. As much as ESPN is trying to get us to care, we just don't. And won't. Ever. So stop talking about it, and stop trying to make us care. We don't care that nobody cares even. Just move on.

Best team nobody really notices:
Milwaukee Brewers. Trust me on this. When you're at about a 20 game per week betting clip, you find things out like "JJ Hardy can kill the ball" or "Prince Fielder is a HR just waiting to happen." If only their starters would stop getting hurt in afternoon games. This team is good.

Worst team nobody really notices:
St. Louis Cardinals. Get Pujols out and you win. Plain and simple. The bottom half of that line-up flat out stinks.

Best saying I invented:
"Riding the Meche-train."

Second story that nobody really cares about:
Where the fat slob Clemens will wind up (Mind you he is on my bench of my fantasy team).

Best pitching coach performance:
Shoota from the Sheppard Hill Rams.

Leading team to win it all:
Red Sox. They have the best pitching top to bottom and Manny and Ortiz haven't even really gone off yet.

Worst team to make the playoffs:
Any team from the AL West. It stinks so far this year.

Best pitcher nobody knows about:
Hideki Okajima. Lights out reliever so far this year.

Worst titled blog:
Thatguysports blatant ripoff of thatguysportsblog. screw them. They should get their own site. Clowns. Besides. Who the hell cares about Oregon State??

2nd best team to root for:
Arizona Diamondbacks. A great late night wager for any day of the week.

That's folks.

Coming soon: Bad announcer fantasy point system. I think its a great idea.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

News and Notes

Seeing as how we're basking in the glory of another NFL Draft weekend we'll be ready to tackle the Major League Baseball season starting tomorrow.

I just don't have it in me to go at it right now - and besides, does anybody really care about baseball right now except for those losers who bet baseball moneylines? And in all seriousness, who would do that?

Anyway, there's another thatguysports. Which kind of sucks. I really don't want to give out the web address but I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out what it is. Regardless, his site sucks and this one is legit. I'm 100% starting an e-feud with him. e-feud = ratings.

Check out some of these stories from the last few days:

Ryan Glasper has every right to hate Tom O'Brien.

Fatso still hasn't decided where he's playing next year. He's also telling us for the fifteenth time since March 1 that May is the month he'll decide. Thanks for checking in you toad.

The Panthers screwed up a good draft a little bit today. Why cut Keyshawn now? It takes a LOT for a rookie WR to produce in his first year.

Look, more reasons to hate the Boston media.

Check back tomorrow for some good'ol MLB talk. At least MH will have something to read.