Thursday, March 01, 2007

NFL ree Agent All Baggage Team

With Free Agency upon us in the NFL tonight at midnight, taking a look at the top Unrestricted Free Agents is imperative. Why not talk about the guys who you wouldn't want within 100 yards of your team's locker room.

I give you this years UFA "All Baggage" team.

RB Jamal Lewis

Does it get any more baggage filled than clearly and unquestionably losing your manhood in jail? No offense to any former felons who read this blog. But what more can you do than go to the clink, clearly lose whatever edge you had to begin with, and come out 1/2 the man you were. Obviously I can't blame him for it - most men I would imagine come out of jail a lot different than before they went in. But I don't want to hand them the ball 25 times a game either.

DE Dewayne White

I know nothing about him - other than the fact that he had 14 sacks over the last 3 seasons. I don't think thats even good. Why does a team want a guy who's clearly a jag (just another guy)>

RB Ahman Green

See Jamal Lewis, subtract jail, add fragile.

DT Robaire Smith

ESPN describes him as "his performance seems to have hit a plateau the last few seasons." a.k.a. "he is what he is" - Bill Parcells.

WR Donte Stallworth

Sorry, but the reality is that this guy's only really played well when he's had a contract dangling in front of him. I'm not buying into it. He was still a punk in New Orleans.

until the Patriots sign him. Then I'm a believer.

DE Patrick Kearney

If "screaming while on the field" was a statistic, this guy would be in the hall of fame. Even when he played opposite John Abraham for like the 3 games Abraham was healthy for this year (again), he didn't do squat.

He is scary as hell.....of course most guys who are CLEARLY on steroids are.

LB Joey Porter

Sign him and you'll surely get production. You'll get a leader too. You'll get a guy who will give you everything and leave it all on the field.

And you'll also get at least 4 "locker room material" quotes for your opposition, and there's a pretty good chance he gets suspended for at least a game.

CB Fred Smoot

Minnesota Vikings "Love Boat" anyone?

LB Steve Foley

He got shot by a cop after a high speed car chase. I think that's pretty self-explanatory.

WR Joe Horn

If it weren't for Hurricane Katrina, people would still treat Joe Horn as if he was Terrell Owens for the cellphone celebration. But now people think he's a good guy because he got paid to play for the Saints.

I see through it.

Last but certainly not least:

#11. Drewwwwwwww Bledsoe.

Look I am a Bledsoe guy. I really am. But the reality is that some team will bring him in either as a starter for a rookie to be behind, or as a 1A guy to compete for the position, and here's what will happen. He'll have a great training camp. A great pre-season. You'll start him. He'll possibly have a good week 1. Then he'll turn into Drew Bledsoe.

And you'll lose a ton of games.

He's one of the nicest players in the entire league. Of that there is no doubt. But he's not a starter in the NFL anymore.

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