Friday, May 04, 2007

That Guy Sports Take on Cycling

After an intense discussion with some haters at lunch yesterday, thatguysports today is exposing the biggest athletic frauds in the entire world. Cyclers. Or as I prefer to say, "Bi-cyclists." a.k.a. "anabolic bodybuilding on a bike."

These guys are the biggest frauds in the world. They ride a friggin bike for Christ's sake. 3 year olds ride bikes. Half the time they're riding downhill.

But they'll tell you the bikes they ride are somehow different from other bikes, and that they have, stop me if you've heard this one, "Higher Lung Capacity" than other athletes. In reality - they're just on steroids.

With that, here's my list of guys that would win the Tour de France blindfolded, but they play real, other sports.

Football players:

Antwan Randel El
I just think he'd be a good cyclist. He's obviously quick, has speed, and isn't going to be hampered by his size. Randel El, easily win the tour de bike race.

Wes Welker
He'd be my favorite to do so actually. He'd destroy Lance and Floyd.

Ladanian Tomlinson
There is legitimately nothing he couldn't do.

Reggie Bush
See Tomlinson.

Majore League Baseball Players

Jose Reyes
He'd be nasty on a bike. He could possibly outrun a bike.

Honestly, any lead off hitter with speed could easily win the tour de bike race.

Pick one. Any of them.


Ovechkin, Crosby, Patrice Bergeron.

All could do it easily.


Floyd Mayweather could gamble, talk trash, and call his uncle while winning a bike race like the tour de france.


Baron Davis, Chris Paul. Easily.

The thing that makes cycling the worst, is that you couldn't put any cyclist in another sport and have them do well in it. They ride bikes!

Anyway, I'd love some more athletes that could easily win the tour de huffy race in France. Post away.


bigfin said...

Troy Brown

Ed Hochuli

mark g said...

Gabe Kapler

Zballs said...

Are there actually cycling fans out there?

That Guy said...

Hochuli is a GREAT call bigfin.

Anonymous said...

Thatguy, how would you fare in the tour de france? You probably don't even know how to ride a bike

Anonymous said...

big walt from bates.

That Guy said...

Anybody with an ouce of athleticism can train all day long for 2 years minimum and compete in a bicycle race.


I fail to see your point. These people use their bodies in a competition like everybody else.

However, I agree that the sport is worth deriding as long as their stance on performance enhancing drugs remains a farce.

Scott said...

Yao Ming. Because he is Chinese and as we all know, Chinese people ride their bikes everywhere.
Can I say that?

Hater #1 said...

We didn't say other athletes couldn't win the Tour. We said YOU couldn't win the Tour with 2 years training. In fact, if anybody with any money reads this blog, let's produce a documentary a la 'Hoop Dreams' that follows "That Guy" for 2 years while he does nothing but train to compete in the Tour de France. It could be called 'Pipe Dreams'.

You can't run a sub-5 minute mile with 3 months of training either.

Anonymous said...

I know squat about cycling but I think it is hard to assume any of these great athletes could win the Tour de Huffy, much less do well. I agree a cyclist could not play football, baseball, hockey, etc. I think being a good cyclist including having the skills too, despite the steroids thing. HR hitters have to have the skill of hitting first. Yes the steroids helps the power immensely along with the ability to have the muscles recover quickly. You may be right on these real athletes but I think it is not a given.

melinda said...

Very good comments in this post That Guy Sports Take on Cycling. The matters discussed in detail about cyclers. This would be very great to hear. Thanks for sharing.